Of what has been...

For five months,Fate looked on and smiled,

And in a bashful moment, it thus contrived:

My first love looked right in my eye,

And never did wince as she said good bye.

In moments, what had brought eternal joy,

Became painful: a hurtful devilish ploy.

No spirits no medicine will ease the pain,

Of losing you, in a moment so vain.

Here rests my head, on my stone cold table,

As memories clog my mind, like a long lost fable.

The work piles on as bosses shout,

Autumn in my mind, just like a withering drought.

If days were bad, the nights are worse.

The world quiets down, silenced by the night,

Parrying me to my end, like a hearse,

Shedding a sorrowful tear on my plight.

Days have passed since that inglorious moment,

Time, the eternal healer, is covering my wounds,

But some wounds leave a scar for us to lament,

The days when you were here, when joy had no bounds.

'Coming back to life' goes the song,

As I take another drag from the bong,

I'll recover with what you left me,

The memory of what has been,and never more will be...

Mind-readers…

I’m not a mind-reader, but

It wouldn’t have taken one

To realize that you were unsure

About me, about us, maybe.

It is weird to know, someday,

You can just stop liking someone.

Actually, it does make sense, but

That liking has to be “liking” only.

For if it were love, yes, love,

You can’t stop loving someone.

I’m not a mind-reader, but

It wouldn’t have taken one

To see you really loved me then

Now, I am not so sure. Why?

You have given me reasons.

I have always said, and say again,

I am not perfect; perfection is a myth

I try my best, I really do, trust me

But sometimes, it is just not enough

You just walk away, away from me

My heart confused, my brain numbed

You say you can’t feel my love

Is it because you don’t love me yourself?

Maybe, it is hard to “feel” one-sided love

I just wish you somehow felt it…

I’m not a bad person, you’ll know someday,

I just have flaws and if you don’t tell me,

It’s tough for me to find out.

I’m not a mind-reader, but

It doesn’t take one, to know,

That something bothers you,

Makes you sad, and unhappy.

I don’t know what to do

Out of words, clueless, confused

But I’ll continue being myself

You can change me, correct me

But if you just let me be, and leave

That’ll be the most hurtful for me.

Maybe it’s too fast and too soon,

But someday you’ll realize that

You’re not a mind-reader, but

It doesn’t take one to know,

Mark my words, someday,

You’ll realize I really LOVE you…

Wish You Were Here...

Some nights I spend just thinking about you,

My mind says "What a waste!", but then

What's vocation without avocation?

Because that is what makes me myself.

Sometimes I wonder if you were here

How different would life had been!

We'd laugh, we'd talk, we'd do many things,

Or probably, I'd just stare into your eyes,

Those deep romantic chasms that they are.

But it's funny how things can be so different,

Just because of the prejudices we have.

Maybe you didn't know me well, but

In my defence, I only got half a chance.

I know people who say I'm friendly,

And yet others who think on the contrary.

I don't know which are more correct,

But ya, I value true friendship as much as life.

Oh, everytime I think about you,

I start pondering on why life's like this

And why it couldn't be with you, not without

They say whatever happens, happens for good.

I don't believe them; I have my reasons.

And even though you and I are so far apart,

Time will give us opportunity, hopefully.

Till then, it's me, my joys and my miseries,

And my lonely heart, doing what I have to.

To share my heart with you someday, I wish,

Till then, I'm here, I'm here without you...

One Day...

One day, I say, one day, you'll know

My worth, and realize I was true.

And it was never me who was weird:

I was just zealous, but it was you.

You thought I was a hypocrite,

Evoking laughter, pretending nice.

My kind don't ask big favours; for us,

A kind smile and honesty do suffice.

How ironic is it then to think,

That you indeed faked a smile at me.

Thought bigotry was supposedly my trait,

And you were an epitome of honesty?

You choose your friends, fair enough.

But isn't friendship arbitrary?

For anyone can be a great friend,

Given a chance, and not labelled "nobody".

I might be sad, disappointed, upset,

But only you can't be blamed much.

That zeal, in comparison, is displeasng,

The world favours normalcy such.

So live on, with your motley group,

Revel together, walk the narrow bend.

I might have lost your trust (don't know why),

But you, my dear, you lost a FRIEND...

Like Fire Tonight

Like fire tonight, I burn and die

I light up the world, but my end is nigh.

Just another Earthling, hell-ward bound,

I searched for light, but darkness found.

Never perfect was this life of mine

But imperfection was most tolerable

When your single smile made my day

And your deep eyes showed me the way

And now you are gone, and gone with you,

The single spark that kindled hope in me.

Not you, not your music, fill my ears;

They flit by; agonizing, piercing spears.

I searched you in spirits; I searched you in smoke,

In holy sprites, in pellets of dope.

Ev’n in furthest corners, you couldn’t be found,

Anguish and grief, do yet abound.

Where did you go and left me to cry,

Can’t move on, however hard I try.

Of all my desires only one does remain:

To sleep and to never wake up again…

Nothing else matters

The feeling: it’s strange,

Suddenly, all I think about

Is you, and my trusty brain,

Once an epitome of gloom,

Now finds joy in things,

As petty and emotionless,

As the shining light,

Or the lazy motion,

Of the shallow rivulets,

Zig-zagging their way,

Beneath the bridge that,

Reminds us of the incessant,

Struggle we go through,

Everyday of our lives.

And every night, back home,

When I think of you,

All the world seems false,

And love alone, the truth.

For in such divine bliss,

I find myself absorbed,

That I forgive the boy,

Who nudged me in the bus,

And the girl who cursed me,

For coughing in the library.

These ecstatic moments become,

The high of my tireless days,

For I find Love in you,

And nothing else matters…

We'll Meet Again

It stretches till doom, the path ahead,

Turning and twisting and ending not.

And the rovers do nothing but tread:

Man-machines our fathers begot.

 

Ups and downs and curves do,

Like five fingers on our own hand,

Fill the way through and through:

And make it not painless, but grand.

 

It’s the way of life; it’s how we live,

Our endless quest to the destination,

Pit-stopping at joys and miseries,

But life still goes on and on.

 

Was it yesterday that we met,

And yet so close? It seems not.

And now that we are friends,

Parting seems painful, a lot.

 

“Goodbye”, you say? It’s not the end.

Travellers we are- ‘tis our bane-

You and me, my friend,

Somewhere along the road, we’ll meet again…