The Rain in my Brain

The minutes rolled on, the clock ticked away
Raindrops condensed over my window pane
I battled eternally to keep Sadness at bay,
It was always raining in my aching brain.

To martyr your happiness for others, I thought,
Should make it all worthwhile; a good cause.
Little it did to remove my bothers. Distraught,
I longed for a deep, eternal pause.

And then, one night, the rains just stopped,
Was it you, shielding me from the drops so cold?
I saw just a silhouette, my vision was blocked,
Engulfing happiness, as tears from my eyes, rolled.

At last, there was peace, flowers would bloom,
Birds would sing, the Sun rise again.
In a place once ruled by Sadness and Gloom,
Happiness would fill and no Sorrow remain.

And now, the foolish heart dares to dream,
That bliss is more than a word: a truth,
That all this isn't just a cruel scheme,
That it was all planned, it is all sooth.

Only Time will tell what Future holds,
Reflection will cause nothing but worry.
We'll see how this grand, lofty saga unfolds,
Let's not ponder about a future so blurry.

Sometimes, words can't express feelings,
At other times, they aren't even needed.
To hell with words then, and twisted meanings,
Just know that in you, all my prayers were heeded.

Here, take my hand, let's walk this road,
I know not where it leads but I'm content,
We'll be together if it rained or snowed,
Our sweet little heaven-ward ascent.

The minutes will stop and the moments will stay,
The raindrops fade from my window pane,
No longer does Sadness upon me weigh,
Let it never rain again in my brain…

The Truth…

Life flits past in the wink of an eye, like

Painted stations through a train window.

What was yesterday, will be no more, but

There is persistence yet in memory…

Dear friend, I can’t get used to living

Without you by my side, but I must.

We shared many a laugh and sorrow,

Our drunken chatter, late-night confessions.

Doped, we sat, pouring ourselves to the other.

To think those times are gone, and never again,

Will it be the same. We’ll meet again, but in

Circumstances different….

‘Tis hard to be hopeful, when you know

The happiest days in life have been lived

And relished and are gone. Wisdom says

There’s good yet to come. We both know

The truth, but to keep the heart happy,

The thought is pretty convenient…

Of what has been...

For five months,Fate looked on and smiled,

And in a bashful moment, it thus contrived:

My first love looked right in my eye,

And never did wince as she said good bye.

In moments, what had brought eternal joy,

Became painful: a hurtful devilish ploy.

No spirits no medicine will ease the pain,

Of losing you, in a moment so vain.

Here rests my head, on my stone cold table,

As memories clog my mind, like a long lost fable.

The work piles on as bosses shout,

Autumn in my mind, just like a withering drought.

If days were bad, the nights are worse.

The world quiets down, silenced by the night,

Parrying me to my end, like a hearse,

Shedding a sorrowful tear on my plight.

Days have passed since that inglorious moment,

Time, the eternal healer, is covering my wounds,

But some wounds leave a scar for us to lament,

The days when you were here, when joy had no bounds.

'Coming back to life' goes the song,

As I take another drag from the bong,

I'll recover with what you left me,

The memory of what has been,and never more will be...

Mind-readers…

I’m not a mind-reader, but

It wouldn’t have taken one

To realize that you were unsure

About me, about us, maybe.

It is weird to know, someday,

You can just stop liking someone.

Actually, it does make sense, but

That liking has to be “liking” only.

For if it were love, yes, love,

You can’t stop loving someone.

I’m not a mind-reader, but

It wouldn’t have taken one

To see you really loved me then

Now, I am not so sure. Why?

You have given me reasons.

I have always said, and say again,

I am not perfect; perfection is a myth

I try my best, I really do, trust me

But sometimes, it is just not enough

You just walk away, away from me

My heart confused, my brain numbed

You say you can’t feel my love

Is it because you don’t love me yourself?

Maybe, it is hard to “feel” one-sided love

I just wish you somehow felt it…

I’m not a bad person, you’ll know someday,

I just have flaws and if you don’t tell me,

It’s tough for me to find out.

I’m not a mind-reader, but

It doesn’t take one, to know,

That something bothers you,

Makes you sad, and unhappy.

I don’t know what to do

Out of words, clueless, confused

But I’ll continue being myself

You can change me, correct me

But if you just let me be, and leave

That’ll be the most hurtful for me.

Maybe it’s too fast and too soon,

But someday you’ll realize that

You’re not a mind-reader, but

It doesn’t take one to know,

Mark my words, someday,

You’ll realize I really LOVE you…

Wish You Were Here...

Some nights I spend just thinking about you,

My mind says "What a waste!", but then

What's vocation without avocation?

Because that is what makes me myself.

Sometimes I wonder if you were here

How different would life had been!

We'd laugh, we'd talk, we'd do many things,

Or probably, I'd just stare into your eyes,

Those deep romantic chasms that they are.

But it's funny how things can be so different,

Just because of the prejudices we have.

Maybe you didn't know me well, but

In my defence, I only got half a chance.

I know people who say I'm friendly,

And yet others who think on the contrary.

I don't know which are more correct,

But ya, I value true friendship as much as life.

Oh, everytime I think about you,

I start pondering on why life's like this

And why it couldn't be with you, not without

They say whatever happens, happens for good.

I don't believe them; I have my reasons.

And even though you and I are so far apart,

Time will give us opportunity, hopefully.

Till then, it's me, my joys and my miseries,

And my lonely heart, doing what I have to.

To share my heart with you someday, I wish,

Till then, I'm here, I'm here without you...

One Day...

One day, I say, one day, you'll know

My worth, and realize I was true.

And it was never me who was weird:

I was just zealous, but it was you.

You thought I was a hypocrite,

Evoking laughter, pretending nice.

My kind don't ask big favours; for us,

A kind smile and honesty do suffice.

How ironic is it then to think,

That you indeed faked a smile at me.

Thought bigotry was supposedly my trait,

And you were an epitome of honesty?

You choose your friends, fair enough.

But isn't friendship arbitrary?

For anyone can be a great friend,

Given a chance, and not labelled "nobody".

I might be sad, disappointed, upset,

But only you can't be blamed much.

That zeal, in comparison, is displeasng,

The world favours normalcy such.

So live on, with your motley group,

Revel together, walk the narrow bend.

I might have lost your trust (don't know why),

But you, my dear, you lost a FRIEND...

Like Fire Tonight

Like fire tonight, I burn and die

I light up the world, but my end is nigh.

Just another Earthling, hell-ward bound,

I searched for light, but darkness found.

Never perfect was this life of mine

But imperfection was most tolerable

When your single smile made my day

And your deep eyes showed me the way

And now you are gone, and gone with you,

The single spark that kindled hope in me.

Not you, not your music, fill my ears;

They flit by; agonizing, piercing spears.

I searched you in spirits; I searched you in smoke,

In holy sprites, in pellets of dope.

Ev’n in furthest corners, you couldn’t be found,

Anguish and grief, do yet abound.

Where did you go and left me to cry,

Can’t move on, however hard I try.

Of all my desires only one does remain:

To sleep and to never wake up again…